1/2 Marathon Momma!

I was never a runner in school. In gym class during junior and senior high, my friends and I would walk the track for the mile until we got to bushes we could hide behind and smoke. That was the extent of my exercise: walking to take a smoke break. In 2008, I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life (160lbs) and wanted to do something about it. I didn't have the will power to eat right and exercise. I was watching America's Next Top Model and they were doing a boot camp challenge. I thought to myself "If I could just go to boot camp, then I would lose the weight!" I googled "boot camps in las vegas" and found Boot Camp Las Vegas. It was expensive (about $200 for a month) but I decided to go for it anyway.

During my first night of class, they made me run the mile. I tried to walk it but the instructor walked behind me the entire time screaming at me to run. I had run the first mile of my life and it felt awesome. I couldn't breathe, but I felt accomplished. I continued in boot camp for several more months and dreaded the mile day. I couldn't breathe right when I ran (because I was a smoke) and it was SO boring to me. Eventually, I came to enjoy it and decided that I would continue to run at home once I stopped boot camp. (BTW- I lost the weight I wanted to lose in boot camp. My wedding goal weight was 135 and I got to 138, which I was totally satisfied with. My wedding dress was a size 3 and my jeans were a size 4. If you are interested its called Boot Camp Las Vegas).

Running at home was much more relaxing because I wasn't being timed or screamed at. I found that I really liked putting my head phones on and just running. I increased my distance to where I was running 4 miles with ease on a regular basis. One night, my husband and I watched a movie called "Run Fat Boy Run" where the guy trains for a marathon. I told my husband "one day, I want to run a marathon!" I decided that I would train for the Las Vegas Marathon.

I didn't feel confident enough to run the LV marathon in December 2008 and there were many other things going on (I was planning my wedding) so I decided I would do it FOR SURE in 2009. I ran and trained regularly (the fact that I was getting married in March 09 and wanted to look hot was a great motivator). I even ran a few times on my honey moon. When we got back from the honeymoon, we decided that we would look into how to buy a house. We didn't expect to buy right away but it turned out that we could so the housing search started. We spent many nights after work looking at house after house and I no longer had time to run regularly. We got the house in June and would be ready to move July 1 2009. After THAT I would get back to training and have 6 months to prepare for the Dec 09 LV marathon. On the last night of our move, I was carrying a box, couldn't see in front of me, and fell off the curb. My ankle swelled up like a tennis ball. I had severely sprained it and it was *this* close to being broken. Cast and crutches. No running for a VERY long time. Guess no marathon in 2009.

I let my ankle heal for a long time. Every time I would start to run on it again it would "act up" and begin hurting. In Dec 2009 we got our dogs and I knew that was my in to get back into running- walking the dogs regularly. I started walking with the dogs and found that I wanted to run while I was out there. My dogs, on the other hand, are a little too retarded to run with me. One wants to run like the wind and pull me down the street while the other one will lay down on the ground and refuse to move if I try and run. That didn't stop me though and I started training again. I would run the Dec 2010 marathon FOR SURE! Nothing would stop me now. I trained and trained. I ran at the gym during the summer months when it was too hot to run outside. 5 miles was a warm up for me at this point and I had increased my time to about an 11 minute mile (not fast, I know, but it was faster than where I had started). Being a smoker didn't matter at this point because I felt like I was a runner. I mean, I had been training for this off and on for over 2 years now.

Well, this blog started in the middle of 2010 because we decided to get pregnant. (I had gained about 7-8 lbs since my wedding and was at a comfortable 145, which I was fine with because I knew that I was running regularly). We tried and tried for a few months with no luck. I started reading books about conception and read that extreme exercise could hurt the chances of getting pregnant. I was running between 5-8 miles 3-5 times a week at that point. I decided to cut it back and relax on it just a bit to see what would happen. (gained about 10lbs doing that- running really does wonders for weight loss). It worked (or something did) because I was pregnant shortly afterward.

When the Dec 2010 marathon happened I was 10 weeks pregnant, nauseous all the time, and didn't feel safe running my first marathon in my first trimester. Good thing I didn't because I started bleeding shortly afterwards and would have hated for that to happen mid marathon. But Nate, who had also been on and off training for 2 or 3 years with me, did complete his first 1/2 marathon. He was so proud and I was so proud of him. The look on his face when he finished made me want to do one ASAP. Nate told me about a March 2011 marathon that he wanted to sign up for. I decided that I would start training after my first tri was over (around Christmas time).

Weellll, you know how the holidays are, right? No one wants to exercise during the holidays. I waited until after the holidays and after my bday (January 10th) to start training. I had about 8 weeks to train but it should be fine because a few months earlier I was running like crazy. It was SO hard! Running while pregnant is much more difficult that running not pregnant. I was heavier (about 20lbs heavier) than when I had last ran and my stomach was beating itself up with every step I took. Plus, I had to pee every 15 minutes which really screwed up my time. And, where am i supposed to pee when I'm 20 minutes away from my house? I was determined to do it though and I trained. My training lasted about 4 weeks before things started to come up. My husband and I celebrated our anniversary early and I decided to take that week off. Then something else happened (I don't even know what) so I took that week off. Next thing I know, its 2 weeks before the marathon and I have barely trained. I was stressed and decided that maybe I shouldn't do it. Nate had suggested that I switch over to the 5k because he was worried about my safety. That's what I would do- a 5k (3.3 miles).

The Friday before the marathon was my appointment with my doctor. I decided I would ask her what's the worse thing that could happen if I run this marathon. I felt empty for quitting and I wanted some closure (like my doc saying it was detrimental to me or baby so I had a good excuse and didn't look like a quitter). She said the worse thing that could happen was dehydration and over heating. DAMN! I had control over both of those. SCREW IT! I'll just run it and see what happens. If I can't make it then someone will come and pick me up since I'm pregnant. I decided less than 24 hours before that I was going to run this half marathon. I had to go and buy bigger exercise clothes because I had gained so much weight in the last 4 weeks that my exercise clothes didn't even fit.

Race Day March 12 2011: We have to get up at 5am (ugh!). I have a half a bagel and a red bull. I am pumped. Ready to go. Nervous. I have my music ready. I have my cute new clothes on. I'm ready. We get there and its a beautiful morning. Race starts at 8am. It is called the 6 tunnels because the race goes through 6 tunnels at the hoover dam. Everyone wore green for St Patties day and some people even dressed like leprechauns. Of course I have to pee first thing (its been 30 minutes since we left the house so duh). The line for the porta potties takes me about 20 minutes to get through. Nate had wanted to stay back with me to make sure that I was safe but I assured him that I would be fine and I didn't want to mess up his time. He agreed to go ahead but still seemed concerned.

We hear that the race is about to start in 5 minutes so we go over to a big area with other the large crowd of other runners. "3...2...1... go!" And we are off! I stayed to the back because the crazy marathoners who are going for time are in the front. I start off running but this is up hill right away. I decided that I would walk on the up hills and run on the down hills. The first 2 miles are mainly up hill and I didn't want to just keep walking. I would jog for a while and then walk for a short time. I was thirsty right off but there wasn't a water station until mile 2. I felt energized and good. All of the sudden, I see people coming back the other way. WTF?! Did these people already finish half of the half marathon? Whatever! They aren't pregnant so I just need to keep going at my own pace. I realize that as soon as I drank some water I had to pee. I started looking for porta-potties but realize that there aren't any. I am scared to pee in the bushes because its quite warm out, in the middle of the desert, and I'm afraid of snakes. Great! Just Great! I focus on the view (which is gorgeous because its of the lake and mountains) and just keep running. I come to a turn around about 3 miles into the race and realize that is why people were going the other way. Another water stop and it is refreshing! Although I still had to pee. Finally, around mile 4 or 5 I can't hold it anymore and find a bush that is big enough to expose me but close to the road to hopefully scare off any snakes.

After that, I was doing great. It was 5 miles into the race and I felt energized and like I could run forever. I get back around the starting area and I tell myself "if you are going to quit, just do it now. The starting area is right there and you are half way done. Either quit now or finish it 100%" I decided to finish. Besides, I was doing great on time and felt amazing. Around mile 6 I start heading up hill again because it is going towards the tunnels. The tunnels were beautiful and wonderfully cool. It was like going into an air conditioned room with each tunnel which was great since it was about 80 degrees at this point. I see Nate coming back around on the other side. I had just passed a sign that said I had 5 miles to go while he was passing a sign on his side saying he had 3 miles to go. He was only 2 miles ahead of me. I felt proud that I was able to keep pretty close to him. I was still running with a crowd of people and keeping an average pace.

I don't know when it hit but at some point I couldn't run anymore. I had to go pee again and there wasn't anywhere by the tunnels that would be appropriate for that. I think that really slowed me down for a while but I kept running through most of that. Eventually, I found a spot but still couldn't get my speed up. I remember Face Booking that I had about 3 miles to go but the tunnels were causing signal issues and I don't know if that even posted. At that point, I was already walking for a bit. But, I was telling myself that I would talk for a while to recoup and then pick back up with the running. This had been all uphill so at the turnaround I would be going down hill. There was a terribly steep hill. The crowd had thinned out. People running the other way kept saying "you're almost there. Just keep going." It felt like they were teasing me. I think it must have taken me 30 minutes to get up that hill. At the top, there were porta-potties. REALLY?!!! ugh! I didn't need to go NOW, but thanks! The turn around was also up there. THANK GOODNESS!

I found my emotional energy and was ready to run again since I would be going down hill. I started to run but my feet, ankles and legs wouldn't go. They felt like cement. So, I walked. People kept passing me by but I just kept walking. A few times the cops in go carts asked me if I wanted a ride back but I said no. All of the sudden, I got terribly hungry. I couldn't think of anything else but food. So, I text Nate that I have a little over 2 miles to go and he should start thinking about food (thinking that I should be back within the next 30 minutes or so). That was around 11am. It felt like I had to walk for 13 more miles to reach the end. I kept thinking "OK, NOW am I close?" But that 1 mile sign wasn't coming up. I walked and walked and walked. Finally, I saw the 1 mile sign. It was the best thing I have ever seen in my life. I just kept going. I hadn't seen any marathoners in a while but there were a few people behind me who were catching up to me. I didn't want them to beat me so I tried to walk faster but I couldn't. I saw the finish sign! I had my last tiny bit of energy and gave it all I could to run through the finish line. I said "I finished it!" as I crossed.

The people were packing up to go. I looked at the clock and it was almost noon. 4 hours?!?! it took me 4 hours?!?! ugh! oh well. I finished. The lady asked me "did you JUST finish?" I looked down at my belly and told her "I'm running for 2 so go ahead and cut my time in half!" I knew that I wasn't the last one so I felt good about that. Nate told me later that they were trying to pack up and go and he kept telling them "but my wife is still out there." I couldn't move for the rest of the day. And now, 9 days later, my ankle still hurts. Regardless, I did it and I finished. It took me 3 years to get here, challenges to overcome, and a crappy time of 4 hours but it I did it! I looked back at my GPS after the run and learned that I did the first 10 miles in a great time of 2 1/2 hours. At that pace, I would have completed my goal of 3 hours. Except, the last 3 miles took me an hour and a half meaning 30 minutes per mile. I realize now that I must have been walking as slow as a snail with that pace but at the time it felt like i was speed walking.

I will be doing the December 2011 Vegas Marathon this year come hell or high water. Since I have such a crap time for this one, I can only improve from there, right? I plan on doing more 1/2 marathons but learned that I have no urge to complete a full marathon (26.2 miles). After about 10 miles, I was SO done running. I'm more proud of myself than ever before no matter what my time was and I look forward to improving. Baby JBTB ran his first half marathon!

!

homebirth or hospital?

I had found a midwife who was covered under our insurance and who was able to deliver in hospitals before I even got pregnant. I had a plan and I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I want the feel of a natural, hippie home birth but in the safety of the hospital. A birthing center would have been ideal, but unfortunately Nevada doesn't have birthing centers. The moment I knew I was pregnant I made an appointment with the only midwife covered under our insurance and  I prepared a ton of questions (of course, when I say "I", I mean my husband and I).

My midwife (Charlene Hanna-Manfull) is wonderful. She answered all of our questions, seemed to understand our needs and what we were looking for in a health care provider, and said that I could limit my number of internal exams (since those cause me severe panic and stress). When I experienced bleeding at 12 weeks, she was able to see me almost right away and even called me at home, herself when she had test results. The only complaint I have is that she began talking to me about induction when i went in for my 20 week appointment. She advised me that the hospitals don't allow anyone to go over 41 weeks and that most women are induced at 39 or 40 weeks. I threw a bit of a fit for a while but decided that we weren't there yet and that we would cross that bridge when we got there.

The only hospital that my midwife has delivery rights at is Mt View hospital. That has not been a problem for us since it's only about 10 minutes away. Centennial hills is more ideal because its 2 miles away, but she has not received delivery rights from them yet. Charlene has advised us that she should get delivery rights at Centennial Hills prior to our birth. BUT- she started out saying January 1. Then March. Now, its any time now.

We took our Mt View hospital tour on 3/19/11 because we expect that we will deliver there with the way that the contracts between the midwives and Centennial Hills seem to be going. Our "hour" tour was 1/2 hour. It was conducted by a post partum nurse who didn't seem to know much about the labor and delivery side. I think the important questions are generally regarding labor and delivery. The post partum part seems to be the easier of the two, don't cha think? She advised us that after birth the nurses take the baby for 1-2 hours or until the baby heats up. During that time, they wash the baby and give them all their shots and ointments. I asked "what if we don't want our child bathed?" She looked at me a little funny and said that if the child isn't bathed then the nurses wouldn't touch our baby without gloves. Well, that's fine lady. I would prefer if the baby stay in my husbands arms anyway for all procedures instead of some stranger in latex.

We head up to the elevator and need to go to floor 3. It's a pretty simple tour: "here's the labor and delivery room. Here's the post partum room. Here's the nursery." When I saw the nursery, the babies were under heat lamps and it reminded me of fast food french fries. Why do they need to take my baby for 1-2 hours to cook him under a heat lamp? Why can't he be skin to skin with me under a blanket or with clothes on to heat him? She can do all the shots and tests with him in my arms. Next, when we went into the labor and delivery room she said "You come into this room and get checked to see if you are actually in labor. If you are then you get your epidural and have your baby in here." Wait! What? You just assume that I'm getting an epi? Well, I'm not! I asked her if I could give birth in different positions than my back and her response was "Well, I don't work in L&D but I don't see why it would be a problem." That's not a real answer. We are standing right here in the L&D wing. Why don't you go and get someone who knows the answer to my question? It all felt very factory to me: "come in, get epi, give birth, check out. NEXT!" I was not comfortable with the experience at all.

I'd been dwelling on it for a few hours and decided to do some research about my options, yet again. I feel like I'm back at the beginning of this whole process. I thought I had it all figured out but with this new development of not wanting to give birth in the only place that my midwife can deliver really complicates things. I asked around (mainly to the mommy group) for advise, looked online for options, and struggled with it for a while. Then, I talked about all the scenarios with my husband. Although he didn't seem very concerned at the time (Saturday night), he seemed to get a fire under his butt about it through the night and came to me Sunday with his concerns. He had looked back on the questions we had asked our midwife throughout the last 20 weeks or so and decided that she hadn't really answered or questions in a way which he was comfortable with either. She answered with things like "that shouldn't be a problem" and "that's an understandable request." Also, he felt like she had hinted a few times that she may be out of town mid-July and that she may be pushing induction on us early on to prepare us for either getting induced or having another doctor (altho we asked her in our interview if she would be going out of town or on vacation around our due date and she said no). So, we weighed our options together.

The problems we are having with a home birth are 1. I'm scared of something happening with the baby that we need a hospital setting for. 2. It would be an out of pocket expense of $3000 or more. 3. I really hate to switch care providers this late in the game. 4. What if I can't make it through the pain and need to go to the hospital for an epi. I'm really going to try and have a natural birth but I've never done this before and I don't know what to expect. That means we would pay out of pocket 3k or more and then still go to the hospital and end up with a hospital bill. Plus, a stranger would  be delivering my baby. I just don't know!  To complicate things just a little further, my current midwifes office is requiring our portion of their bill (about $800) prior to delivery and that is due on our next visit. So we need to decide at our next visit if we are paying them or going with someone else. The clock is-a-tickin.

We talked about it throughout the day and decided that our action plan will be:
Regarding the hospital birth and my current midwife:
1. call mt view hospital and complain about the tour. Ask to speak to a L&D nurse to get more questions answered
2. Talk to our midwife at my next appointment and see what her take on the hospital tour is and see what she has to say about our concerns. Also, ask her direct questions regarding this induction plan and what happens if we refuse.
3. Tour Centennial Hills hospital to find out if its even worth it to hold out for her to get rights there. If we still hate Mt View and Centennial Hills sucks too then we will know for sure to switch doctors.

Regarding the home birth:
1. Call well rounded momma (who our doula is through) and set up a free consult with a midwife. Also, find out about safety, what happens if the baby is hurt or sick and what experience she has. Since Centennial Hills hospital is very close, I may feel OK doing it at home if the midwife is trained well.
2. A friend of mine told me that her insurance (same company as ours) was willing to cover an at home midwife at 60% as an out of network provider. If they will cover that, it will save us some money and alleviate some concerns regarding financials. I need to talk to my insurance co and find out what the rules are.
3. Another friend of mine told me that one midwife (Sherry- owner of WRM) has delivery rights at Summerlin hospital. IF the insurance will cover an at home midwife at any percent and then Summerlin is covered in network, then it won't cost much more to switch. Plus, I can try the birth at home and if I can't do it then we can transfer over to Summerlin. So, I need to talk to Sherry and then tour summerlin if this is all the case. THIS is my best option so far and the one I am hoping for.

I have a busy few weeks ahead of me to figure out what I want to do. What I do know is that I don't want to be just another number for nurses in L&D. I don't want them to take my baby from me unless it's life or death. And, I don't want to feel like I'm doing my birth based on someone elses agenda and procedures. I am doing this birth the best way for me, my husband, and our baby!  

22 weeks

Well, so much for barely feeling little man move (as stated in the last post). He has been a crazy person in my tummy for the last week! The cute flutters tickle and and make me laugh but there are times when he feels like he is using my organs as a punching bag. The other day i think he was laying on my diaphragm and i couldnt breathe for about 20 minutes until he moved. We went to blue man group last week and he went crazy. Last night, at Zumanity, he was also going crazy. Seems he likes the bass and loud music.

I have been feeling better lately as far as energy and preg symptoms go. Nothing much to report there.

I am going back and forth as to whether or not to run the 1/2 marathon next weekend or just the 5k. I really want to try and do the marathon. Even if i can't run the whole thing, i should be able to run/walk it. But, I havent been training for about 2 weeks now so we will see.

We have decided not to name little man until he is born. We have a few names picked out, but nothing solid yet. We pick a few names and say them for a few weeks to see what sticks. So far we have Jaxon Reilly, Gavin James, Ethan Maddox, Maddox Zane and a few others. For now, we just call him baby Jack Bauer (from the show 24) Toyota Bubbles (long story and i hope that i remember it when im old).

I did my first loads of baby laundry this week and i was SO excited to wash and fold all those little tiny clothes! We also have JBTB's coming home outfit all picked out. I leave it hanging in the living room so that i can stare at it ::googley eyes & cheesy smile::

I cant wait for baby boy to get here, but i am enjoying being pregnant.