Baby #2: Our surprise!

Surprise! Baby #2 :) We were planning on waiting until after the new year to discuss when #2 would be making his/her appearance, but my kids have my personality even from before conception and they make their own decisions. So, #2 has decided to make her/himself known around March 2013 :) I was concerned that my pregnancy symptoms were more extreme than last time but as I read my previous blogs on the weeks i am, everything is just as before. So, it could be a boy or it could just be my pregnancies. We have decided to leave the gender of a baby a secret until its born. I am currently about 8 1/2 weeks. I had made it down to my pre preg weight of 155 as of June 1 but conceived a few weeks later. Now, im up to about 160.

Traveling with a baby

When thinking about traveling with a 5 month old I almost had a panic attack. How will I diaper him (since we cloth diaper)? How will I pump and store breast milk? What if I forget something he will need? How will he be in the car for that long? ::home alone face:: AHHHHHHH! I'm typing this on the drive home from a fantastic first vacation with tips and tricks to help (also, forgive my grammar since I'm typing this on my phone). This is my info based on a 5 day driving trip to central Cali.

What do I pack?
We packed enough clothes for each day plus a few extra. Bibs. Burp cloths (altho since we can't wash them and they take up space we only packed 3 and used wipes for most things). I can admit that I over packed his toys and really only needed 3, 2 of which were attached to his car seat. Since we were with relatives he needed less toys and barely used any of them. We brought our swing but only used it once so we could have done without that. Stroller for sure. His Bumbo with a tray was awesome to use as a traveling high chair during rice cereal time. My pump with my car adapter (I'll go more in to detail in another section). Diapers and wipes (which i will also address below). Baby wash, brush, towel and washrag. First 2 nights he hung out with me in the tub and the other 2 I filled the tub up with only an inch or two of
Water and layed him flat to bathe him. I also brought those mats that go in highchairs or shopping carts which I used as a play mat as well. First aid kit including baby Tylenol and Benadryl just in case.

Breast feeding on the go:
I do have a great double pump with a car adapter that I used. I recommend bringing it just in case if u have one. I did not bring enough bottles but I think that was best anyway. I brought 4 bottles that hold about 6 oz. they were all full on the first night. Luckily we had a fridge in our room. But I didn't bottle feed him at all during the day. He gets 3oz bottle at night as apart of his sleep routine and I needed 1 oz for his cereal. Other than that, the milk just sat in the fridge until I poured it out for our drive home. I did not want I travel back with milk in the car for several hours. The first day I would only feed jaxon in a private room away from everyone. The next day he was hungry and someone was in the spare room so I just used my cover and fed him right in front of everyone. When traveling and breast feeding be flexible! We stopped every few hours so that I could change him and feed him. We did not wait until he got cranky but instead planned to stop every 2-3 hours. I sat in the back seat and nursed in parking lots with my cover on. Easy peasy. As for his cereal, I mentioned that I pumped milk while driving to mix and fed him in his Bumbo. One last tip is to wear layered clothing for feeding. I must have had 3 shirts and a nursing tank/bra on in order to stay covered and still have easy access. Plan ahead! (I keep coming back to this point to add things). If u need to hear the baby bottle in the car, use the heater and put the bottle in front of the vent.

Diapering:
I originally picked a hotel that had a laundry facility and planned on washing my cloth diapers. However, as we got closer to the trip i realized that I would really like to spend all my moments enjoying my family and not doing laundry. I decided to get disposable hybrid inserts. I bought Flip and Grovia. The Flip brand are longer, more absorbent and feel nicer to the touch than the Grovia. They do not stop blow outs (either brand) so I am glad that I brought 7 covers to rinse off and dry. The covers generally stopped the blow outs from getting on his clothes (except once) so that was ok. Also, we had to buy regular wipes (why use cloth wipes with posie diaps?) Jaxon didnt have any adverse reaction to the diapers and requested (screamed) to be changed just as often as cloth diapers. I'm satisfied with the Flip brand. Also, when we were close to running out, I was able to google where to buy them in CA and found a neat shop called EcoBambino in San Luis Obispo. Don't be afraid to improvise a changing area in the car or even on the car. We changed him in the back seat and on the hood.

What to do about him in the car?
I was so lucky that my son was an angel! He slept the entire time. As I said, we planned to pull over every 2-3 hours to feed and change him BEFORE he got cranky. He would be awake for a few minutes playing and then fall back asleep. We attached his binkie to his shirt with a clip so he could grab it as needed and he was a happy boy. There was one time that he was hungry mid way between stops so I gave him some of the milk I had pumped and heated it with the heater vent.

I think the most important thing to remember is that you are on vacation so enjoy yourself. If you aren't going to a secluded place then pack best you can but realize that you can purchase forgotten items or learn to live without them. It's scary to leave the comfort and routine of everyday life with a new baby but it's good for them to get out and experience the world and good for you to get out of your routine to learn new things!

The birth of Jaxon

Warning: Some of these images may be a little graphic. Nothing too bad, but you may not want to see my butt. This is my birth story to the best of my memory and by piecing together what others have told me. I'm not sure if its 100% accurate. And, this is LONG

It was 7/14/11. I was asleep and woke up to a sound of popping. It was almost like the sound that I hear when my house creeks at night. I sat up and felt wetness on the sheets. I knew my water had broke. I looked at the clock to make sure I knew exactly when it happened and it was 9:15am. I called Nate and said "My water broke!" He said "should i come home from work?" I screamed "of course!!" But i was calm and proceeded to give him a grocery list of things that i thought that i would need including coconut water to stay hydrated. Then, I called my doula and told her that my water had broke. She said "are you having contractions?" I paused to feel if I was, realized I wasn't, and replied accordingly. She said "call me when you are in real labor."

I decided if I was going to have a baby that I should take a shower, wash my hair, and shave. I was facebooking, texting people, and talking calmly to Nate after my shower. I went down stairs to make breakfast (eggs and toast). I still wasn't having any contractions and I was feeling confident. Nate got home about 10:30am and I had been having a few contractions. At 11am, I decided to go and take a bath to see if the contractions would stop since they seemed very light. When in the bath, the contractions let up quite a bit to almost nothing. Nate was in constant contact with the doula who kept saying to "call when i was in REAL labor." The last time I remember looking at the clock was around 11:30am, when i got out of the bath, and my contractions were intense the moment i stepped out of the water.

Most of the rest of this story is a blur and is information I have pieced together or was told. I remember pacing around my down stairs and kitchen area stopping every few seconds to breathe. Nate wanted to time my contractions but they were not regular. At this time they were so intense that I couldn't really speak at all so when they would get really bad I would tap on the wall or counter or his arm. When they were less bad I would tap again. But, they never went away. I'm not sure when but at some point I was asking for the birthing tub. Nate was in contact with the doula so he handled getting the tub to the house. I remember sitting in my down stairs bathroom, backwards on the toilet, with a pillow on the tank, in the dark for much of the early afternoon. I also remember throwing up my breakfast- TWICE. At some point (I think about 1pm) the lady with the birthing tub arrived.

The woman setting up the tub happened to be my midwives assistant. I heard her asking Nate a bunch of questions about my status but they were whispering so I don't know what they were saying.  She began attempting to time my contractions (which were still all over the place and constant). I think at that point she called my midwife and told her to come over. The tub took FOREVER to fill up. I kept asking when it would be done and I just wanted some relief. I think I also asked Nate to get me Tylenol a few times to take the edge off. I couldn't really talk even though i was thinking in complete sentences. I just couldn't manage to get the words out of my mouth. I did alot of grunting and pointing.



My entire down stairs had been prepared with all types of pain management items: massagers, oils, lotions, relaxing smells, candles, etc. I wanted NONE of it! Nate couldn't even apply any pressure to me anywhere and nothing could touch my lower back. All that soothed me was gently stroking with fingers across my back but not on my lower back and this positive affirmations track that i played on repeat all day long. Nate later told me that every time that track would start up again everyone in the room would groan because they were sick of hearing the same thing over and over again. I wanted to lay down and rest SO BAD but I was unable to lay down without screaming. So, i paced the living room, leaned up against the kitchen counter, rested with my arms on the bed (that we had down stairs) and my knees on the ground (kind of like being on all 4's) or sat backwards on the toilet in the dark.

When the pool was done being filled (i have no idea what time but before the midwife and doula arrived so between 1pm and 2pm) I was so excited for relief. Except when I got in it was too hot and I had to get right out. Nate and the pool lady (I cant remember her name) began getting coolers and buckets to put cold water in the tub but I would freak out every time Nate would leave my side. So the pool lady was stuck trying to cool the pool down by herself. I guess they got the water temp as low as they could safely have it for the baby and told me it was OK to get in. But, when i got in it was still too hot. I layed in the pool for a little bit while they put cooled rags on my head and neck. It did provide pain relief and was SO relaxing to be weightless. Contractions seemed to stop while i was in the pool. But, it was just too damn hot and I had to get out after a few minutes. It was back to being on all 4's resting on the bed or backwards toilet sitting.



Nate did well in ensuring that I stayed hydrated. I was drinking coconut water mixed with plain water in ice which was very soothing. He also did a great job in interpreting my labor language to make sure i was getting things I needed (which consisted of groans, grunts, pointing, and only being able to answer YES or NO questions with a head nod). Nate was NOT allowed to leave my side. If I wanted something and he attempted to go and get it, I would freak out and say "make her do it!!! Isn't that what we paid them for?!!" I wasn't very nice to people at this point :/ There was one point where I said "when the hell am i in 'real labor' so the damn midwife and doula will get here!!??!!" I think they arrived about 2pm.



I love how the midwife looks bored here.



I remember thinking and even asking Nate a few times "when do i get to be in REAL labor?" I thought that someone would tell me when this "real" labor that my doula told me about on the phone earlier that morning would start. No one ever announced "OK- NOW you're official!" I thought that I was still in early labor especially since it wasn't that late in the day and since there wasn't really any "pain" but alot of pressure. I figured that it would get worse when "real" labor started and I was ready for it.  I remember saying a few times "I just want this to stop so I can rest. I'm so tired" because my contractions didn't have a resting time in between them. My labor was one REALLY long contraction for several hours. I also remember saying "its just SO much pressure in my back!" But i don't remember feeling back pain per se. Just alot of intense pressure. I also remember saying (quite often) "I cant do this anymore. I'm so tired." But I didn't want to go to the hospital or take any drugs. I just wanted 10 minutes contraction free to lay down and take a nap. During my birthing class I remember them telling us that there was a few minutes in between contractions so that the laboring mother could take a nap. I eagerly awaited those few minutes. Mine never came. Nate was wonderful and would say "you ARE doing it. You CAN do it. Just a little more." Just complaining about the situation made me feel better, honestly. I didn't really want anyone to do anything but just listen to me bitch.

At some point, (i think about 3pm), I started grunting and bearing down. The midwife asked me something along the lines of "do you fell like you are pushing?" and I wasn't sure. She said "does it hurt when you push on the contractions?" I said "no. I feel like I need to." So, she told me to go ahead and push. The doula put the fetal Doppler on me to check the baby's heartbeat.  I remember that it was the most painful experience of my life. I do not know why it hurt but it did. She barely pressed on my stomach; just laid the Doppler on the top. But, I screamed "get that damn thing off of me!" Unfortunately, they kept putting that Doppler on me every few minutes and I would scream at them every time. I didn't understand why they kept monitoring the baby. They also kept asking me to move here and go there and lay this way or that way. I ended up back in the tub for a while but it again got too hot. Eventually, they put oxygen on me. That was probably around 4pm.

You can see the oxygen cord coming down my back.



You can see my doula holding the Doppler.



The midwife asked me if I was set on having the baby in the tub. Since I was barely in the tub, I told her no. I felt like she was asking me this because it was getting close. I was pushing and pushing and they would say "good push!" She told Nate "you can see the outline of the baby here" (pointing at my back) which I thought was odd but I wasn't worried. I thought any minute now I would feel that ring of fire or for my midwife to tell Nate to come down and see the baby. But, instead she kept making me moving and change positions and checking the heartbeat and making me breathe in the oxygen I was on. I was fighting her tooth and nail because everything she was asking me to do was uncomfortable. I screamed at her a few times. There was one point where she said "I have to check you" and I said "NO!" She told me that it was no longer an option and that she was in charge right now. She made me get on my back and she checked to see how dilated I was. I just screamed and screamed. I don't remember her checking me to be painful but laying flat on my back hurt like hell. She said that I was completely dilated but there was a small part of my cervix that was in the way. She moved it in hopes that it was the culprit. I pushed and pushed and pushed some more. Nate, my doula and the midwife kept whispering to each other.

At around 6pm my midwife said "its time to go to the hospital." I didn't understand that there was a problem or any danger. I was in a labor zone and just kept breathing and pushing. My midwife told me to try and stop pushing until we get to the hospital but it was impossible to not push. I got dressed in my labor hospital gown and got into Nate's car in the back seat with the doula. The only way I was comfy was sitting on all 4's with my knees on the floor and my elbows on the seat. With every contraction I would push and my doula would say "stop pushing." I didn't know why I couldn't push but I couldn't stop my body from doing it no matter how many times she told me. Before we left, Nate had asked the pool lady to lock the bottom lock on the front door. We had no time to pack a bag, lock the house up, take care of the animals, etc. I told Nate "if i have to go to the hospital, I want an epidural when I get there" and he agreed. I think he knew it was more serious than I realized.


I could barely walk from the car to entrance in the hospital. My midwife met us there and got me a wheel chair. I couldn't sit down right though because of the intense pressure in my bottom so I had to do a sideways sitting. The midwife had called ahead and given them all of my info so we bypassed the check in process. We went straight into a room where the nurses were able to do their procedures (hook me up to IV, check my dilation etc). I asked for an epidural. I figured if I wasn't able to have the home birth like i wanted then i was getting the pain meds. The nurses would ask me questions, but my midwife was there answering them for me (thank goodness because I couldn't answer anything. I couldn't do anything but nod yes or no since about 1pm). They gave me medication to stop my contractions. Again, I wasn't sure why or what was going on. I trusted my midwife and the medical staff to care for me however they needed to. I didn't ask many questions.


When the epidural man came in I asked for a PCE (patient controlled epidural). He said that they would give me plenty of epidural so I shouldn't worry. I advised him that I didn't want alot of medication because I have a fear of not being able to move my legs. I wanted the PCE so that I could administer the epidural only when the pain was too intense. He agreed even though it was not standard procedure. The epidural didn't hurt at all. I didn't feel any intense pressure in my back or even any needle prick at all. And, as soon as he said it was in, I felt no more contractions. Although, the contractions had diminished some anyway due to the medication they had given me to stop them.


Dr. Harter arrived and checked me. At this point, it was about 8 or 8:30pm. I asked "am I dilated?" I think I still hadn't realized that I was ready to have the baby. I guess I was thinking that I wasn't dilating or something which is why the baby wasn't coming. But the midwife answered that I had been dilated for a while and Dr Harter confirmed that I was fully dilated. He said that he could see and feel the baby's head easily. He was mentioned something about a vacuum to get the baby out and I declined. He attempted to maneuver the baby. I heard him say "the heart rate is dropping!" and the midwife replied that it had been happening for a while with every contraction. Dr. Harter and the midwife were side by side in the room watching the monitors. Someone said something about the heart rate being 80 and "we need to get this baby out now!" I was ready to push him out. I said "I don't want an episiotomy, just so you know." However, vaginal birth wasn't the plan.


Again, more blur about what happened and how. I don't remember approving surgery or even being told about it. The next thing I knew I was being wheeled through the hallway. I tried to sit up (because those hospital hallway lights are bright as hell and they hurt my eyes) but was told "don't move!" The anesthesiologist came in to the room again and was talking to Dr. Harter. He said something about why didn't Harter call for him earlier. Harter said "there wasn't any time." The anesthesiologist said "it will take me 10 minutes to numb her." Harter said "we don't have 10 minutes! Put her under!" I screamed "NO! DO NOT PUT ME TO SLEEP!!" It was at this moment that I realized something was wrong with my birth. Up until this point, I honestly didn't understand that there was a serious issue. I thought there were some minor complications. Now I knew that this was serious.


I felt pulling and tugging and pressure but it went away quickly. The numbness seemed to go all the way up to my chest. The anesthesiologist stayed by my side the entire time. I was chatting and joking with him. I started to panick because I tried to move my legs and couldn't. I said  to the anesthesiologist "remember that fear I told you about in the deilvery room? How I am very afraid of not being able to move my legs? Well, I think I'm there. I really need someone to go and get my husband right now so I dont have a panick attack." He started talking to me to try and calm me down. I know now that he was stalling to avoid going to get Nate until after Jaxon was out in case there were any further complications.

Eventually, someone went and got Nate and I heard the baby cry. I dont know which came first. The baby was born at 9:05pm. 7lbs 9oz and 21 inches long. APGAR of 8/9.

He was safe and healthy. Nate was with me for a short second to tell me everything was ok and then he went to the baby. I didnt get to see the baby or hold the baby for a very long time. Nate brought the baby over to see me once but it was hard to get a good look with the bright lights and commotion. I told Dr. Harter "double stitch me so I can have a VBAC next time." Its funny how I was barking orders when I was in no position to be telling anyone how to do anything.  It took the doctors almost an hour and a half to stitch me up. At about 10:30pm I was wheeled back to the delivery room. When leaving the operating room, they handed me the baby to take with me. That was the first time I was able to hold him.

When I got back into the delivery room, my midwife and doula were still there. I was glad to see them. I felt like they didnt just abandon me but saw my delivery through to the end. Also, my mom and dad were there. I was very excited to see them and I felt so supported in that moment. Nate and I started discussing names. We went with Jaxon for the first name and were torn between Harter or Sawyer for the middle name. We ended up going with Sawyer. I asked my doula "how do i feed him?" She helped me latch Jaxon and he seemed to know what he was doing from the start. He latched without any problems ever since.

My birth story is pretty crazy but I trust that the medical team (specifically my doula and midwife) knew exactly what they were doing to ensure a safe delivery. I also feel that my midwife didnt have any hidden agendas for wanting me to go to the hospital or have a c section. If he would have been able to be born vaginally, its estimated that he would have come around 3pm. My contractions didnt start until about 11:30am. It was a fast labor! It turns out that Jaxon was sunny side up (which was why they could see his outline in my back and why I didnt want anyone touching my back), crooked, and the cord was wrapped around him. With every contraction, he was trying to turn to get out but kept wrapping himself up further in the cord. It would have been impossible for him to come out vaginally with his positioning and the issue with the cord. I am grateful for the medical interventions that I received even though my entire birth plan was designed to do anything possible to avoid a c section.

Baby Wearing Info

Here is some info that i learned in my baby wearing class taking from an exerpt from Dr. Sears:

Cloth Diapering FAQ

This is information that I received from my cloth diapering class that I took:

 

Hospitals for birth: life savers or money makers?

When i inquired about jaundice and what role a home birth would play in the diagnosis and treatment of it, I learned some disturbing information about hospitals in my area, more specifically regarding their new born and birthing practices.

First, the hospitals have recently began testing all new borns for jaundice, where as they used to only test babies who had certain signs and symptoms, because the hospitals were introduced to a new method for testing. In addition to being able to play with a new toy, they are able to charge more money to parents for running the test. Makes me wonder what other tests are being performed on babies willy nilly.

Second, it is rumored that hospitals have been advised to keep the NICU running at full capacity since it is a big money maker. The hospitals are also suffering in this economy and are attempting to recoup losses. Who are fault them for being overly cautious with babies and keeping them a few days longer to make sure that they are OK, right? Well, what about the mothers and fathers who want to take their baby home but the nurses say "no." Here is a new story about a family who wanted to take their baby home, was ok'ed by their pediatrician, but was denied by the nurses: 
http://www.ktnv.com/story/14338042/baby
And this is happening all over town, from what i hear.

I have also talked with many women who wanted to have vaginal births but were told things like "your baby is too big" or "your pelvis is too small." I understand that our society, with its fast food and sweets everywhere you turn, is likely to grow some larger babies but the number of women I've seen be told these things is alarming. What did women do prior to all this knowledge when we were in the jungle living off berries and lions? Women weren't privy to any knowledge about the size of their baby. They just had their babies. That was it. So why all the need for C-sections?

In 2009, the C-section rates in Nevada were 35% while the national average was listed at 31%, according to Health Plan of Nevada (HPN) & Sierra Health. Some doctors listed were over 50%. There are many reasons that I have heard for the increase in C-sections over the years. These reasons include:
- doctors are trying to cover their butts more to avoid malpractice suits and raised insurance rates. Therefore, any sign of complications at all and the doctors will resort to C-sections
- the introductions of the epidurals and pitocin cause labor to stall out or not progress as naturally as possible causing the need for c-sections
- doctors and nurses would like labor to be faster than it tends to be for some women. So, once a woman labors for a certain amount of time they will decide that the baby isn't coming naturally and suggest a c-section
- its faster for the doctor (taking 15 minutes- an hour) where as vaginal births take many hours and some times days
But, the most disturbing thing to me, which i think may be occurring in light of this new information, is that doctors have realized that a surgery, such as a c-section, is a money maker. And, maybe the hospitals have given the doctors orders to figure out the best way to make money. I wonder if the doctors are getting kick backs or bonuses for racking up doctors bills?

It bothers me to think that a system, facility, or person who is there to help others, save lives, and fix medical issues has money as their bottom line. I do not believe that all doctors, hospitals, nurses or administrators are waking up every day thinking about how they can hurt families and babies to make money. There are amazing care professionals who truly want to help people but are likely caught up in the bureaucracy of it all. OR, maybe they are told that they are to do certain things to because it is the best thing for their patients.

Some people call me a hippie because i want to have a natural home birth. When i think of what a hippie looks like, i think of a pot smoking, tree hugging, no bath taking, Birkenstock wearing love child. That does not fit me at all. I wonder what people call well researched, educated parents who only want the best for themselves and their children? I am certainly an outcast, a rebel, as far as society is concerned. If the people in our society took the time to educate themselves and not make decisions based on what their doctors tell them or out of fear, how many would come to a similar conclusion?

I know that there are still women who would say "give me the drugs, cut me open, and get this baby out!" and that is totally fine. And there will still be medical reasons for c-sections, drugs, forceps, vacuums, etc in birth otherwise they would have never been invented in the first place. But, as parents, we should have the right to be informed about our children and births, the risks at an accurate level (not as a scare tactic from doctors), and be able to make our own choices without the threat of social services being called if we do not conform to their ways of money making.

Home stretch

My pregnancy hasn't been easy by any means. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary or extra difficult, such as having hypermeses or high blood pressure, but if there's a pregnancy symptom you can name then I probably had it. These last few weeks have been the worst of it though! I'm so tired most days that getting off of the couch to pee (for the 150th time today) seems like such a chore that I've contemplated diapers for myself. The baby's cloth diapers ARE extra soft. Additionally, instead of one ache or pain at a time, I'm having multiple. Tonight, for example, I'm having contractions, cramping, heartburn, lower back pain, sciatica pain causing shooting pain down either or both legs, and my hips hurt. This is all at once! I can tell you that I am a complainer. If theres something wrong in my world, everyone will hear about it. I am sure that people are tired of me talking about my ailments at this point, buy right now they are absolutely THE WORST! I am 36 weeks today and will see the midwife for a check up tomorrow. I think this baby will be coming early since my body seems to be charging up for birth right now. Glad we finished the nursery :)

BABYWEARING

Dr. Sears, famous and well known peditrician, shares he thoughts on the benefits of baby wearing:

BABYWEARING

Water Birth | BabyCenter Video

Cloth Diapering

The following information is written by a friend of mine in my mommy group. I currently have no experience with cloth diapers (as JBTB in still in womb) but i plan on CDing and am excited to do so. I found this information extremely helpful and concise. Just another perk of being apart of a mommy group!

Cloth Diapering Lingo

CD-Cloth Diapering
BG-Bum Genius Brand
HH-Happy Heiny Brand
FB-Fuzzi Bunz Brand
RR-Rumperooz Brand
CS-Charlie’s Soap Detergent
Sposies-Disposibles


Hey Groovy Mamas! So you want put a little change back in your pockets, all while doing your part in keeping waste out of our landfills Huh? Well, you’ve taken that first step!



Words of wisdom: With all things baby, there is a TON of information out there which can be overwhelming and discouraging. Just remember, cloth diapering is not nearly as hard as you may think! Just like raising a baby, cloth diapering works differently for everyone. The diaper that one may like may not work so well for someone else. These are just the general guidelines and information to help you get started. Guidelines are meant to be followed, but tweaked to fit you and your family lifestyle.


The average price to disposible diaper a baby from birth to 2 years is roughly $1200 a year. With the recent news of rising diaper prices, it will obviously be more. Expect to spend around $300 on average for your cloth diapering start up stash. Some spend more, while others spend less. Buying CDs used through craigslist, ebay, friends, etc will help defray costs. CDs can be used multiple times for multiple children. So the initial investment will pay off. Plus you can resale your dipes! Watch out because cloth diapering can be addicting. So many choices, styles and colors& patterns, Oh My!


Good Luck!




Types of Cloth Diapers
1.1. Pre-fold Diapers


i. Pre-folds are the old school cloth diapers that everyone remembers and are most economical.
ii. Pre-folds are folded over the baby and kept in place by pins or Snappis. (The modern version of pins)
iii. These are the least expensive of the cloth diapers and can function as other uses once done as a diaper, such as burp cloths, dusting & cleaning rags.
iv. The fabrics can be made out of hemp, bamboo, fleece, etc
v. Pre folds require a diaper cover. Covers can be used more than once per diaper.
vi. Popular brands include: Econobum, Bummis (Gerber brands found at the store are NOT recommended)
vii. Price range: Starting $6 per diaper including cover



1.2. Fitted Diapers
i. Fitted diapers look similar to a disposable diaper and have elastic at the legs and back.
ii. The closures are commonly snaps or Velcro and come in various different materials, such as bamboo, fleece, or hemp.
iii. Requires a diaper cover. Diaper covers can be used more than once per diaper.
iv. Fitted diapers come in set sizes from newborn to toddler. You change sizes as the baby grows.
v. Popular Brands include: Kissaluvs, Happy Heiny, & Thirsties
vi. Price range: Starting $15 per diaper including cover


1.3. Pocket Diapers
i. Pocket diapers are the most commonly used cloth diaper.
ii. Pocket diapers are pre-shaped and have a pocket that allows you to “stuff” the diaper with inserts.
iii. A pocket diapers DOES NOT require a separate cover.
iv. Stuffers for pocket diaper are generally made of micro-fleece, suede-cloth, cotton or bamboo.
v. The pocket diaper is available in one size that allows you to use from newborn to toddler.
vi. Popular brands include: Bum Genius, Happy Heiny, Rumparooz, Fuzzi Bunz
vii. Price range: Starting $15 per diaper


1.4. All-in-One Diapers
i. All-in-Ones are most like the disposable diaper. All In Ones have the soaker is sewn to the waterproof cover making an all in one combination. These are the diapers that are considered “daddy, babysitter, & daycare friendly”. They are the easiest to use, because the diaper is one whole piece with no folding or stuffing to them.
ii. The All-in-Ones require more drying time.
iii. They are the most expensive diaper of all the choices.
iv. All-In-Ones come in various sizes from newborn to toddler. As well as one size
v. Popular brands include: Bum Genius, & Rumparooz
vi. Prices range: Starting $20 per diaper




5. Hybrid Diapers
i. Hybrid diapers offer the convenience of disposable diapers coupled with the reusability of cloth diaper covers.
ii. Each diaper consists of a washable, reusable cloth diaper cover which can be used with either biodegradable disposable inserts or washable cloth inserts.
iii. Most convenient for travel
iv. Popular brand include: Gro Via, Gdiapers, Flip
v. Prices range: Starting $22 per diaper including cover




Cleaning Diapers


Breastfed poop does not need to be sprayed off before cleaning. The natural content breaks down easily in the initial rinse.


Otherwise, just shake, dunk or use a sprayer to remove poops. Then place diaper in diaper pail/bag.


No need to rinse for wet diapers.


Rinse and/or wash as many times as needed on the occasion that problems (see below) arise.


1.1. Cold Rinse
i. Loosens debris and helps with stain prevention
ii. Add Baking Soda to this cycle to help neutralize smells


1.2. Hot Water Wash
iii. With a non-bleaching, non-free/clear, non-fabric softening detergent


3. Warm Water Rinse
iv. Helps remove remaining soap residue


If Needed: Run 2nd Hot Wash w/o detergent OR 2-3 Warm Rinses


Some Recommended Detergents: Original Powder Tide, Charlie’s Soap, Rockin’ Green, Allen’s Naturally, Crunchy Clean


NOT Recommended Detergents: Free & Clears, Fabric Softeners, W/ Bleaches, Baby Detergents. (These will break down your diaper fibers & can rashes due to build ups)



Problem Shooting


1. Repelling
What is it: Liquid not being soaked up properly by diaper, constant leaks
Caused By: soap residue
Solution: Use correct amount of detergent, multiple hot water rinses


2. Stinkies
What is it: Odor on/from the diaper
Caused By: Too long between washes, Not enough washes, Soap residue
Solution: Additional hot washes, in extreme cases-hand washing with Regular Liquid Dawn dish soap, Adding vinegar to the rinse cycle


3. Stains
What is it: A stain
Caused By: Prolonged timing between washes, extreme poop scenarios
Solution: The Sun! It’s a natural stain remover.


4. Build Up
What is it: Build up of soap residue
Caused By: Diapers not being rinsed properly
Solution: Strip them with hot washes no detergent.

5. Leaks
What is it: Your diapers leaking
Caused By: Repelling, Wrong sized diaper, baby being in diaper a prolonged amount of time.
Solution: Check diaper for soap buildup by running them in a rinse cycle, if suds appear, you have soap residue. Check for the fit of the diaper on baby. Change baby :P




How Many Diapers Do I Need
1. The average newborn uses 12 diapers a one day. As your baby grows this number will decrease between 4 and 8 diapers a day.
2. It is suggested to wash at least every 2-3 days. To help prevent stains & buildup
3. If you are currently using disposables, count how many diapers you use in one day, multiply that number by how many days you would like to go between washing and this will tell you how many diapers you should purchase.
4. Suggested number of cds for a newborn is 18-24 if the intention is to wash every other day. Older babies 12-18




Cloth Diapering Accessories
1. Diaper Pail
i. Keeps the diapers and odors contained
ii. A trash can works well, lined with a pail liner


2. Pail Liners
i. Like a reusable trash bag; Gets thrown in the wash with the diapers


3. Wet Bags
i. Small bags used on the go to hold dirty diapers.
ii. Can also be used to hold wet clothing and such


4. Diaper Sprayer
i. Looks like a Kitchen faucet sprayer that attaches to the side of your toilet to spray of sticky poos. No need to swish and dunk.


5. Cloth Wipes
i. Baby wash cloths work well. As well as regular wash cloths
ii. Wipes solutions can be homemade, or bought
a. Water- Free and works just as great!
b. Lavender & Tea Tree Oil Wipes
1 cup water
3 drops lavender oil (optional, for scent)
2 drops tea tree oil
c. Vinegar Anti-Fungal Wipes
1 cup water
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1/4 cup aloe vera oil
2 drops tea tree oil
d. Baby Bits Brand
e. Bum Genius Bum Cleaner
f. California Baby Diaper Area Wash (Jess L. dilutes this in a spray bottle, four parts water to one part CA Baby)


Cloth Diapering Websites:
www.jilliansdrawers.com
www.kellyscloset.com
www.kellymom.com
www.diaperpin.com


NOTE: I am not an cding expert, however I will claim to be well informed. I have been cloth diapering for 2 years now, and at one point two Little Ones at the same time. I researched cding for the 9 months I was pg. The best way to get through it is to do it!

Hope this helps some! Happy Dipeing :D - Aisha Fanning

1/2 Marathon Momma!

I was never a runner in school. In gym class during junior and senior high, my friends and I would walk the track for the mile until we got to bushes we could hide behind and smoke. That was the extent of my exercise: walking to take a smoke break. In 2008, I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life (160lbs) and wanted to do something about it. I didn't have the will power to eat right and exercise. I was watching America's Next Top Model and they were doing a boot camp challenge. I thought to myself "If I could just go to boot camp, then I would lose the weight!" I googled "boot camps in las vegas" and found Boot Camp Las Vegas. It was expensive (about $200 for a month) but I decided to go for it anyway.

During my first night of class, they made me run the mile. I tried to walk it but the instructor walked behind me the entire time screaming at me to run. I had run the first mile of my life and it felt awesome. I couldn't breathe, but I felt accomplished. I continued in boot camp for several more months and dreaded the mile day. I couldn't breathe right when I ran (because I was a smoke) and it was SO boring to me. Eventually, I came to enjoy it and decided that I would continue to run at home once I stopped boot camp. (BTW- I lost the weight I wanted to lose in boot camp. My wedding goal weight was 135 and I got to 138, which I was totally satisfied with. My wedding dress was a size 3 and my jeans were a size 4. If you are interested its called Boot Camp Las Vegas).

Running at home was much more relaxing because I wasn't being timed or screamed at. I found that I really liked putting my head phones on and just running. I increased my distance to where I was running 4 miles with ease on a regular basis. One night, my husband and I watched a movie called "Run Fat Boy Run" where the guy trains for a marathon. I told my husband "one day, I want to run a marathon!" I decided that I would train for the Las Vegas Marathon.

I didn't feel confident enough to run the LV marathon in December 2008 and there were many other things going on (I was planning my wedding) so I decided I would do it FOR SURE in 2009. I ran and trained regularly (the fact that I was getting married in March 09 and wanted to look hot was a great motivator). I even ran a few times on my honey moon. When we got back from the honeymoon, we decided that we would look into how to buy a house. We didn't expect to buy right away but it turned out that we could so the housing search started. We spent many nights after work looking at house after house and I no longer had time to run regularly. We got the house in June and would be ready to move July 1 2009. After THAT I would get back to training and have 6 months to prepare for the Dec 09 LV marathon. On the last night of our move, I was carrying a box, couldn't see in front of me, and fell off the curb. My ankle swelled up like a tennis ball. I had severely sprained it and it was *this* close to being broken. Cast and crutches. No running for a VERY long time. Guess no marathon in 2009.

I let my ankle heal for a long time. Every time I would start to run on it again it would "act up" and begin hurting. In Dec 2009 we got our dogs and I knew that was my in to get back into running- walking the dogs regularly. I started walking with the dogs and found that I wanted to run while I was out there. My dogs, on the other hand, are a little too retarded to run with me. One wants to run like the wind and pull me down the street while the other one will lay down on the ground and refuse to move if I try and run. That didn't stop me though and I started training again. I would run the Dec 2010 marathon FOR SURE! Nothing would stop me now. I trained and trained. I ran at the gym during the summer months when it was too hot to run outside. 5 miles was a warm up for me at this point and I had increased my time to about an 11 minute mile (not fast, I know, but it was faster than where I had started). Being a smoker didn't matter at this point because I felt like I was a runner. I mean, I had been training for this off and on for over 2 years now.

Well, this blog started in the middle of 2010 because we decided to get pregnant. (I had gained about 7-8 lbs since my wedding and was at a comfortable 145, which I was fine with because I knew that I was running regularly). We tried and tried for a few months with no luck. I started reading books about conception and read that extreme exercise could hurt the chances of getting pregnant. I was running between 5-8 miles 3-5 times a week at that point. I decided to cut it back and relax on it just a bit to see what would happen. (gained about 10lbs doing that- running really does wonders for weight loss). It worked (or something did) because I was pregnant shortly afterward.

When the Dec 2010 marathon happened I was 10 weeks pregnant, nauseous all the time, and didn't feel safe running my first marathon in my first trimester. Good thing I didn't because I started bleeding shortly afterwards and would have hated for that to happen mid marathon. But Nate, who had also been on and off training for 2 or 3 years with me, did complete his first 1/2 marathon. He was so proud and I was so proud of him. The look on his face when he finished made me want to do one ASAP. Nate told me about a March 2011 marathon that he wanted to sign up for. I decided that I would start training after my first tri was over (around Christmas time).

Weellll, you know how the holidays are, right? No one wants to exercise during the holidays. I waited until after the holidays and after my bday (January 10th) to start training. I had about 8 weeks to train but it should be fine because a few months earlier I was running like crazy. It was SO hard! Running while pregnant is much more difficult that running not pregnant. I was heavier (about 20lbs heavier) than when I had last ran and my stomach was beating itself up with every step I took. Plus, I had to pee every 15 minutes which really screwed up my time. And, where am i supposed to pee when I'm 20 minutes away from my house? I was determined to do it though and I trained. My training lasted about 4 weeks before things started to come up. My husband and I celebrated our anniversary early and I decided to take that week off. Then something else happened (I don't even know what) so I took that week off. Next thing I know, its 2 weeks before the marathon and I have barely trained. I was stressed and decided that maybe I shouldn't do it. Nate had suggested that I switch over to the 5k because he was worried about my safety. That's what I would do- a 5k (3.3 miles).

The Friday before the marathon was my appointment with my doctor. I decided I would ask her what's the worse thing that could happen if I run this marathon. I felt empty for quitting and I wanted some closure (like my doc saying it was detrimental to me or baby so I had a good excuse and didn't look like a quitter). She said the worse thing that could happen was dehydration and over heating. DAMN! I had control over both of those. SCREW IT! I'll just run it and see what happens. If I can't make it then someone will come and pick me up since I'm pregnant. I decided less than 24 hours before that I was going to run this half marathon. I had to go and buy bigger exercise clothes because I had gained so much weight in the last 4 weeks that my exercise clothes didn't even fit.

Race Day March 12 2011: We have to get up at 5am (ugh!). I have a half a bagel and a red bull. I am pumped. Ready to go. Nervous. I have my music ready. I have my cute new clothes on. I'm ready. We get there and its a beautiful morning. Race starts at 8am. It is called the 6 tunnels because the race goes through 6 tunnels at the hoover dam. Everyone wore green for St Patties day and some people even dressed like leprechauns. Of course I have to pee first thing (its been 30 minutes since we left the house so duh). The line for the porta potties takes me about 20 minutes to get through. Nate had wanted to stay back with me to make sure that I was safe but I assured him that I would be fine and I didn't want to mess up his time. He agreed to go ahead but still seemed concerned.

We hear that the race is about to start in 5 minutes so we go over to a big area with other the large crowd of other runners. "3...2...1... go!" And we are off! I stayed to the back because the crazy marathoners who are going for time are in the front. I start off running but this is up hill right away. I decided that I would walk on the up hills and run on the down hills. The first 2 miles are mainly up hill and I didn't want to just keep walking. I would jog for a while and then walk for a short time. I was thirsty right off but there wasn't a water station until mile 2. I felt energized and good. All of the sudden, I see people coming back the other way. WTF?! Did these people already finish half of the half marathon? Whatever! They aren't pregnant so I just need to keep going at my own pace. I realize that as soon as I drank some water I had to pee. I started looking for porta-potties but realize that there aren't any. I am scared to pee in the bushes because its quite warm out, in the middle of the desert, and I'm afraid of snakes. Great! Just Great! I focus on the view (which is gorgeous because its of the lake and mountains) and just keep running. I come to a turn around about 3 miles into the race and realize that is why people were going the other way. Another water stop and it is refreshing! Although I still had to pee. Finally, around mile 4 or 5 I can't hold it anymore and find a bush that is big enough to expose me but close to the road to hopefully scare off any snakes.

After that, I was doing great. It was 5 miles into the race and I felt energized and like I could run forever. I get back around the starting area and I tell myself "if you are going to quit, just do it now. The starting area is right there and you are half way done. Either quit now or finish it 100%" I decided to finish. Besides, I was doing great on time and felt amazing. Around mile 6 I start heading up hill again because it is going towards the tunnels. The tunnels were beautiful and wonderfully cool. It was like going into an air conditioned room with each tunnel which was great since it was about 80 degrees at this point. I see Nate coming back around on the other side. I had just passed a sign that said I had 5 miles to go while he was passing a sign on his side saying he had 3 miles to go. He was only 2 miles ahead of me. I felt proud that I was able to keep pretty close to him. I was still running with a crowd of people and keeping an average pace.

I don't know when it hit but at some point I couldn't run anymore. I had to go pee again and there wasn't anywhere by the tunnels that would be appropriate for that. I think that really slowed me down for a while but I kept running through most of that. Eventually, I found a spot but still couldn't get my speed up. I remember Face Booking that I had about 3 miles to go but the tunnels were causing signal issues and I don't know if that even posted. At that point, I was already walking for a bit. But, I was telling myself that I would talk for a while to recoup and then pick back up with the running. This had been all uphill so at the turnaround I would be going down hill. There was a terribly steep hill. The crowd had thinned out. People running the other way kept saying "you're almost there. Just keep going." It felt like they were teasing me. I think it must have taken me 30 minutes to get up that hill. At the top, there were porta-potties. REALLY?!!! ugh! I didn't need to go NOW, but thanks! The turn around was also up there. THANK GOODNESS!

I found my emotional energy and was ready to run again since I would be going down hill. I started to run but my feet, ankles and legs wouldn't go. They felt like cement. So, I walked. People kept passing me by but I just kept walking. A few times the cops in go carts asked me if I wanted a ride back but I said no. All of the sudden, I got terribly hungry. I couldn't think of anything else but food. So, I text Nate that I have a little over 2 miles to go and he should start thinking about food (thinking that I should be back within the next 30 minutes or so). That was around 11am. It felt like I had to walk for 13 more miles to reach the end. I kept thinking "OK, NOW am I close?" But that 1 mile sign wasn't coming up. I walked and walked and walked. Finally, I saw the 1 mile sign. It was the best thing I have ever seen in my life. I just kept going. I hadn't seen any marathoners in a while but there were a few people behind me who were catching up to me. I didn't want them to beat me so I tried to walk faster but I couldn't. I saw the finish sign! I had my last tiny bit of energy and gave it all I could to run through the finish line. I said "I finished it!" as I crossed.

The people were packing up to go. I looked at the clock and it was almost noon. 4 hours?!?! it took me 4 hours?!?! ugh! oh well. I finished. The lady asked me "did you JUST finish?" I looked down at my belly and told her "I'm running for 2 so go ahead and cut my time in half!" I knew that I wasn't the last one so I felt good about that. Nate told me later that they were trying to pack up and go and he kept telling them "but my wife is still out there." I couldn't move for the rest of the day. And now, 9 days later, my ankle still hurts. Regardless, I did it and I finished. It took me 3 years to get here, challenges to overcome, and a crappy time of 4 hours but it I did it! I looked back at my GPS after the run and learned that I did the first 10 miles in a great time of 2 1/2 hours. At that pace, I would have completed my goal of 3 hours. Except, the last 3 miles took me an hour and a half meaning 30 minutes per mile. I realize now that I must have been walking as slow as a snail with that pace but at the time it felt like i was speed walking.

I will be doing the December 2011 Vegas Marathon this year come hell or high water. Since I have such a crap time for this one, I can only improve from there, right? I plan on doing more 1/2 marathons but learned that I have no urge to complete a full marathon (26.2 miles). After about 10 miles, I was SO done running. I'm more proud of myself than ever before no matter what my time was and I look forward to improving. Baby JBTB ran his first half marathon!

!

homebirth or hospital?

I had found a midwife who was covered under our insurance and who was able to deliver in hospitals before I even got pregnant. I had a plan and I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I want the feel of a natural, hippie home birth but in the safety of the hospital. A birthing center would have been ideal, but unfortunately Nevada doesn't have birthing centers. The moment I knew I was pregnant I made an appointment with the only midwife covered under our insurance and  I prepared a ton of questions (of course, when I say "I", I mean my husband and I).

My midwife (Charlene Hanna-Manfull) is wonderful. She answered all of our questions, seemed to understand our needs and what we were looking for in a health care provider, and said that I could limit my number of internal exams (since those cause me severe panic and stress). When I experienced bleeding at 12 weeks, she was able to see me almost right away and even called me at home, herself when she had test results. The only complaint I have is that she began talking to me about induction when i went in for my 20 week appointment. She advised me that the hospitals don't allow anyone to go over 41 weeks and that most women are induced at 39 or 40 weeks. I threw a bit of a fit for a while but decided that we weren't there yet and that we would cross that bridge when we got there.

The only hospital that my midwife has delivery rights at is Mt View hospital. That has not been a problem for us since it's only about 10 minutes away. Centennial hills is more ideal because its 2 miles away, but she has not received delivery rights from them yet. Charlene has advised us that she should get delivery rights at Centennial Hills prior to our birth. BUT- she started out saying January 1. Then March. Now, its any time now.

We took our Mt View hospital tour on 3/19/11 because we expect that we will deliver there with the way that the contracts between the midwives and Centennial Hills seem to be going. Our "hour" tour was 1/2 hour. It was conducted by a post partum nurse who didn't seem to know much about the labor and delivery side. I think the important questions are generally regarding labor and delivery. The post partum part seems to be the easier of the two, don't cha think? She advised us that after birth the nurses take the baby for 1-2 hours or until the baby heats up. During that time, they wash the baby and give them all their shots and ointments. I asked "what if we don't want our child bathed?" She looked at me a little funny and said that if the child isn't bathed then the nurses wouldn't touch our baby without gloves. Well, that's fine lady. I would prefer if the baby stay in my husbands arms anyway for all procedures instead of some stranger in latex.

We head up to the elevator and need to go to floor 3. It's a pretty simple tour: "here's the labor and delivery room. Here's the post partum room. Here's the nursery." When I saw the nursery, the babies were under heat lamps and it reminded me of fast food french fries. Why do they need to take my baby for 1-2 hours to cook him under a heat lamp? Why can't he be skin to skin with me under a blanket or with clothes on to heat him? She can do all the shots and tests with him in my arms. Next, when we went into the labor and delivery room she said "You come into this room and get checked to see if you are actually in labor. If you are then you get your epidural and have your baby in here." Wait! What? You just assume that I'm getting an epi? Well, I'm not! I asked her if I could give birth in different positions than my back and her response was "Well, I don't work in L&D but I don't see why it would be a problem." That's not a real answer. We are standing right here in the L&D wing. Why don't you go and get someone who knows the answer to my question? It all felt very factory to me: "come in, get epi, give birth, check out. NEXT!" I was not comfortable with the experience at all.

I'd been dwelling on it for a few hours and decided to do some research about my options, yet again. I feel like I'm back at the beginning of this whole process. I thought I had it all figured out but with this new development of not wanting to give birth in the only place that my midwife can deliver really complicates things. I asked around (mainly to the mommy group) for advise, looked online for options, and struggled with it for a while. Then, I talked about all the scenarios with my husband. Although he didn't seem very concerned at the time (Saturday night), he seemed to get a fire under his butt about it through the night and came to me Sunday with his concerns. He had looked back on the questions we had asked our midwife throughout the last 20 weeks or so and decided that she hadn't really answered or questions in a way which he was comfortable with either. She answered with things like "that shouldn't be a problem" and "that's an understandable request." Also, he felt like she had hinted a few times that she may be out of town mid-July and that she may be pushing induction on us early on to prepare us for either getting induced or having another doctor (altho we asked her in our interview if she would be going out of town or on vacation around our due date and she said no). So, we weighed our options together.

The problems we are having with a home birth are 1. I'm scared of something happening with the baby that we need a hospital setting for. 2. It would be an out of pocket expense of $3000 or more. 3. I really hate to switch care providers this late in the game. 4. What if I can't make it through the pain and need to go to the hospital for an epi. I'm really going to try and have a natural birth but I've never done this before and I don't know what to expect. That means we would pay out of pocket 3k or more and then still go to the hospital and end up with a hospital bill. Plus, a stranger would  be delivering my baby. I just don't know!  To complicate things just a little further, my current midwifes office is requiring our portion of their bill (about $800) prior to delivery and that is due on our next visit. So we need to decide at our next visit if we are paying them or going with someone else. The clock is-a-tickin.

We talked about it throughout the day and decided that our action plan will be:
Regarding the hospital birth and my current midwife:
1. call mt view hospital and complain about the tour. Ask to speak to a L&D nurse to get more questions answered
2. Talk to our midwife at my next appointment and see what her take on the hospital tour is and see what she has to say about our concerns. Also, ask her direct questions regarding this induction plan and what happens if we refuse.
3. Tour Centennial Hills hospital to find out if its even worth it to hold out for her to get rights there. If we still hate Mt View and Centennial Hills sucks too then we will know for sure to switch doctors.

Regarding the home birth:
1. Call well rounded momma (who our doula is through) and set up a free consult with a midwife. Also, find out about safety, what happens if the baby is hurt or sick and what experience she has. Since Centennial Hills hospital is very close, I may feel OK doing it at home if the midwife is trained well.
2. A friend of mine told me that her insurance (same company as ours) was willing to cover an at home midwife at 60% as an out of network provider. If they will cover that, it will save us some money and alleviate some concerns regarding financials. I need to talk to my insurance co and find out what the rules are.
3. Another friend of mine told me that one midwife (Sherry- owner of WRM) has delivery rights at Summerlin hospital. IF the insurance will cover an at home midwife at any percent and then Summerlin is covered in network, then it won't cost much more to switch. Plus, I can try the birth at home and if I can't do it then we can transfer over to Summerlin. So, I need to talk to Sherry and then tour summerlin if this is all the case. THIS is my best option so far and the one I am hoping for.

I have a busy few weeks ahead of me to figure out what I want to do. What I do know is that I don't want to be just another number for nurses in L&D. I don't want them to take my baby from me unless it's life or death. And, I don't want to feel like I'm doing my birth based on someone elses agenda and procedures. I am doing this birth the best way for me, my husband, and our baby!